Happily Ever Hereafter

"All Men Are Trash" vs "Just Marry Who Your Parents Pick" ... is There a Third Option?

Marriage.MBA Season 1

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"All men are trash." "Just marry who your parents pick." If neither of those sits right with you, you're not alone. And it turns out, Islam already has a third option that most women have never been shown.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • Why both extremes lead to the same place
  • The balance Islam actually offers between independence and family
  • The two decisions that will shape more of your life than anything else you do in your 20s

🧭 WHY YOU FOLLOW THIS PODCAST:

Because you deserve to be a Marriagineer - a Muslim woman who reverse-engineers a divorce-proof, happy, and healthy marriage that leads to Jannah, in shā Allāh, following Marriage.MBA's 8-Step Marriage Roadmap.

So one day, you can ask your future co-founder, your future husband:
"Will you marry me in Jannah?"

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All 20 True-Love Skills. One step-by-step roadmap. Built for a 20-year-old single Muslim woman who wants to divorce-proof her future marriage - because a solid pre-marriage education reduces your chance of divorce by 30%.

Watch the videobook, listen to the audiobook on the Marriage.MBA app, or flip through the hardcover as you sip your green tea. For the best results, do all three.

LoveMistakes.com

Sharif Faizullah

Am I too young for marriage? I'm only 20, right? I'm too young to think about love and marriage right now. Okay. So at 20, you might be too young to get married, right? But are you too young to think about love and marriage? Are you too young to prepare for one of the most important decisions of your entire life?

SPEAKER_02

Rank up at marriage. Getting married and thinking about marriage are two completely different things. And I think that once you hit puberty, you should start having conversations about not marriage specifically, but like male interactions. You're going into high school or middle school, there's gonna be guys, there's gonna be flirting, they're gonna be interested, you're gonna be in a situation where you can talk to the opposite gender, and you need to be prepared for that.

SPEAKER_01

If in our households we're not having these conversations as younger girls, we're then going to be put in a situation where there's a boy that likes us. We don't know Islamically what our role is in that situation. Do you run? Do you like slap him? Do you jump into his arms? You don't know. So you kind of just end up following your desires and ending up in a very, very sticky situation that is a lot harder to get out of.

SPEAKER_02

So I think those preliminary conversations are super, super important because you want to be prepared for every step of the way. I would much rather everyone be over-educated than under-educated.

Sharif Faizullah

See, you are actually old enough to recruit a co-founder and launch a million-dollar company, and many 20-year-olds do. So you are also old enough to prepare to recruit your future partner in life. Does that mean you rush to get married? Be careful. Because that would be a mistake. Because there is such a thing called getting married too early. On the other hand, is there something called getting married too late? Yes, there is. I got good news now. There is a middle path. What is that? It's called your marriage sweet spot. That means you avoid getting married too early and too late. And this is also a balance between feminism and familism. So we all know what feminism is. We grew up with that idea. A lot of our sisters are inspired by it. There are some good, right? There's some bad. It's a mixed bag. What is familiism? You might not be familiar with it, right? So on the extreme side, we're like, ooh, all men are trash and this and that, you know, this gender war that is happening. That's on the extreme side of this. On the extreme side of this is family, family, family. I'm going to sacrifice everything. You know what? I'm gonna get married to this guy because my parents are forcing me to just to make them happy. There is an extreme version of feminism, there is also an extreme version of femalism. Interestingly enough, Islam balances between those. It doesn't go to one extreme. Khadija radiallahu anha was an example of that. Think about it. She was a businesswoman, she had a lot of people working under her. She was also an amazing wife and an amazing mother. So I think we need to get back to that balance that Islam gave us and not follow the pills of this color and that color. There's so much debate on this topic, but I'm gonna tell you this. I want you to write your own love story. I want you to design your own life, inshallah. 20, this decade is when you'll make some of the most important decisions of your life. I'll end with this question. What are two things that bring about the most amount of joy and happiness? The first thing is how you make your money. And the second thing is who you choose as your life partner. These two things, above everything else, will dictate how much misery, challenges, how much happiness, joy, how much satisfaction and contentment you will feel in your life, not just for a day or two, or a week or two, or a month or two, for years and for decades to come, inshallah. And that is my call to you. I invite you to design a life where you think about how will I make my money and whom will I choose as the father of my future children, as my life partner, my co founder of our future family, my future husband, who will be that man?

SPEAKER_02

A marriage sweet spot. How do I find it? How do I know that okay, this is the time frame that I want to get married in and I'm gonna be ready there?