Happily Ever Hereafter

Living With In-Laws β€” The Part Nobody Talks About

β€’ Marriage.MBA β€’ Season 1

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0:00 | 2:28

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He wants to live with his parents. She's hesitant. But before anyone walks away, there are two things in this situation that actually count as green flags, and most women would completely miss them.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • Why this guy gets a check plus before the living arrangement is even resolved
  • The two things that determine whether in-laws are a dealbreaker or not
  • The one question she needs to ask him before she makes any decision

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So one day, you can ask your future co-founder, your future husband:
"Will you marry me in Jannah?"

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SPEAKER_00

I've met a guy who I've clicked with and considered wanting to spend my life with. When we talked about future living arrangements, he mentioned he wants to live with his parents, and I'm not sure if I should give him a chance or if it's too big of a deal breaker to end.

Sharif Faizullah

Before I throw the guy under the bus, I want to say something very important. Rank up that marriage that MBA divorce proof your future marriage today. You have to admit the fact that the guy wants to take care of his parents and he wants to live with them at least for the first few years, and he's not confident that his siblings will be able to take care of his parents properly. So the guy actually gets a check plus on my book because of that. Living arrangement aside, because that is a guy who shows that he's willing to make a lot of investment and long-term commitment. And I also like that you mentioned boundary and you mentioned privacy, and the guy actually mentioned that. So that's another check plus right here. That means the guy knows exactly what truly matters. And that boils down to having a separate bathroom and a separate kitchen. So it doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a separate house. No, as long as you have a separate bathroom and a kitchen, that's it. That's one way to do that. The second version of that would be having a separate bathroom, but kitchen is combined. That's also doable. But separate bathroom is something that I would absolutely, absolutely prioritize, especially during the first couple of years of marriage because of privacy, intimacy, a lot of issues. That's something that a lot of couples struggle with. So now, this is one question I would have for the guy. What do you mean by first few years? How long is that? Is that two, three? That's few years. Is that nine, ten? You could also call that few years. But two years and nine years are two different. You could have two, three, four kids in nine years. Do you get what I mean? Even if he lives with his parents, but he's able to provide a separate bathroom and a separate kitchen, I don't think that would end up being a deal breaker. It would end up being a deal breaker if the guy is not willing to talk about it, to have a discussion about it, to come to some type of middle ground. What is not compromised for the guy? The guy said, No, I want my parents to live with me.

SPEAKER_00

So you want to make that distinction with Does it have to be in the same boundary, sharing the same bathroom and kitchen?

Sharif Faizullah

If that's not the case, then I think the guy deserves a chance.