Happily Ever Hereafter

He Checks Every Box... But I'm Not Attracted

Marriage.MBA Season 1

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0:00 | 2:20

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He checks every box. No dealbreakers. All your dealmakers. But you're just not attracted to him. Is that enough of a reason to say no?

In this episode, you will learn:

  • How to know if low attraction is actually a dealbreaker
  • The one number that changes everything
  • Why the most attractive man is not always the right man

🧭 WHY YOU FOLLOW THIS PODCAST:

Because you deserve to be a Marriagineer - a Muslim woman who reverse-engineers a divorce-proof, happy, and healthy marriage that leads to Jannah, in shā Allāh, following Marriage.MBA's 8-Step Marriage Roadmap.

So one day, you can ask your future co-founder, your future husband:
"Will you marry me in Jannah?"

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Watch the videobook, listen to the audiobook on the Marriage.MBA app, or flip through the hardcover as you sip your green tea. For the best results, do all three.

LoveMistakes.com

Sana Dalaal

What if he checks all the boxes? He doesn't have any of my deal breakers and he has all my deal makers, but I'm just not attracted to him.

Speaker

Speaker

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Sharif Faizullah

Put a number on it. Let's do like zero to ten. Zero would be like, I find this guy so hideous, not in a million years, that doesn't do anything to me. 10 is I'm just gonna faint when I'm in front of these guys. On those two extreme, do not choose seven, how would you rate that? Generally speaking, if you find someone hideous, if your score is very, very low, I would recommend not marrying the guy. Even if he checks all the boxes, if there's no even tiny bit of physical attraction, then my recommendation would be no. However, if your score is somewhere in the middle and the guy has none of your deal breakers and has most or all of your deal makers, I would recommend pursuing that guy. Because I know quite a lot of couples, at first they disliked each other so much they would be annoyed and frustrated at the sight of each other. I'm thinking of a specific couple in mind. Not only got married, mashallah, they have multiple children, they love each other. Such a beautiful, loving marriage. So the thing is, as long as you're somewhere in the middle, I would say continue and move forward. Do not make the mistake of saying, you know, oh, just because I don't find him physically attractive. I would rather marry a guy who is 10 out of 10 in terms of hotness and look and handsomeness, but on two or three in terms of kindness and all that. Would I marry that guy or would I marry a guy who is, let's say, six out of ten in terms of looks, but you know, like nine out of ten in terms of kindness and character and all that? Guess what? In the long run, this guy is better for you. In the short run, yeah, you'll feel the butterflies and all of that with the first guy, but the second guy will be better for you. If your score is super low and you find the guy hideous, case closed. But if it's somewhere in between, give the guy a chance, at least talk, see if some attraction builds. Because sometimes the attraction doesn't happen right on the spot, right at the beginning. You may not feel the butterfly right away, but as long as you feel comfortable, as long as the potential is there, then love can grow out of that. Definitely. I've seen many, many marriages like this.

Sana Dalaal

What should someone base their deal makers and deal breakers on?